A comment a day…

Well done to everyone who completed their 100 Word Challenge post this week! You have written some amazing stories, and I am looking forward to commenting on them later.

(If you haven’t yet finished your post, you can still log on to complete it and submit it for review)

Please comment on your friends work as well – remember to explain what you enjoyed about the piece and ask questions to encourage further discussion. Don’t forget to be constructive when suggesting improvements or development points!

Mr E.

The ultimate adventures of nine tails

One day a beautiful Pokemon named nine tails was strolling in the woods of shalor. To give you an idea about nine tails he is soft and silky he is also very milky. Nine tails sniffed something out it was a piece of material. The material felt like a spikey very spikey metal. Guess what it was? A shalor gym badge and ash came in time to see the bage but nine tails was the one who found it. So what did nine tails get, he actually got his own trainer and nine tails lived another tale. Join in the fun on the adventures of nine tails.

Harry the Harris hawk

One cold winter morning,harry the Harris hawk was snuggling up in his fluffy, cosy nest. then he saw a brown fat rabbit scatter across the icey snowy floor so he soared through the frosty air and swallowed it whole.after Harry’s rabbit stew he was full up so he went on a adventure to find a scarf.but then he heard  the bounty hunters so he snatched the red ragged scarf from the dirty floor.then he raced back to his nest the material felt like a broken baby blanket but it doesn’t matter because he likes it and harry the hawk lived happily ever after.

The mysterious chest

Hey my name is Shannon my mum and I had never looked in the attic before .I am so exited .Let’s go and visit the attic then . I saw a big brown chest the material was like a rock it was very hard but also fluffy. my mum was very suspicious about it and I asked her do you know what it is and my mum quickly ran downstairs I thought she would tell me but she didn’t . I looked for more stuff I found nothing else . I guess I will never know what was inside there

By  Wanessa

The first night

My first night went ok. I went to the first tree i saw and took it’s wood. I made a  few things . I started a house, just as the sun was setting I heard a groan and I knew what it was . I quickly ran inside and built up a roof. I then realised one thing ,I had no torches. I quickly saw what I had but I had nothing I could use ,except ,what was that? I saw some stone, made a furnace and there was something. The material felt like wood. It was wood! I then made a torch!

Mario and his adventure

One ordinary day as usual Princess Peach was kidnapped again by Bowser and Mario had to save her but today it would be much harder because Bowser has been practising to be more evil and make sure Mario did not save her. On Mario’s clothes the material felt like a soft fur to make sure that he doesn’t get cold and to leave him comfortable. Mario had to beat loads of enemies and bosses and Bowser’s son Bowser Jr.Then Bowser himself and then Mario saved Princess Peach but he then had to get back to the Mushroom Kingdom.

by Roxie

The Chocolate Store

Hello I’m Jessie and I love chocolate! My favourite chocolate is white chocolate in the shape of a rabbit. My clothes have pictures of chocolate on them. My mum, who is called Barbara, doesn’t like me wearing chocolate clothes because I now smell of chocolate.  All I eat is chocolate. Chocolate peas and carrots and crisps. My favourite brand, Cadburys. I love the chocolate wrappers. The material felt like a smooth lipstick. I wonder what your favourite chocolate is? Is it white chocolate, dark chocolate, orange chocolate or milk chocolate? My favourite colour is the beautiful brown because it’s the colour of chocolate.

By Isla

 

The amazing hawk

One day Harris the hawk was flying above New York.Then he stopped by the sea and it was covered in discusting green seaweed.The sea was covered in seaweed because people found seaweed and threw it into the sea.Harris flew to another beach and he found some weird things in the sea.It was some type of material.The material felt like the sand blowing in the wind.Then suddenly he found a place in the middle of the rocks,then he fell asleep.While Harris was sleeping another hawk was about to land on Harris the other hawk woke up Harris and the other hawk slept.

By Oliver

 

The Minecraft pug!

On a gloomy dark night Pug ,his material felt like the softest animal ever, was looking  for diamonds.He ran back home. Subsequently Pug heard a creeper… A Creeper army rushed at him!  Next they swiftly exploded.Mysteriously Pug was in a sky island. It was beautiful and light, then Pug screamed “THIS IS AWSOME!!” He built a cosy house and fell asleep on the blue, fluffy, enormous carpet. He got woken up… It was full of deadly, monstrous monsters. He got his puggy armour and went there.I n 10  hours he won. In a few days he was bored, so Pug became king he ruled the sky island and lived a fun life.

My mums crazy sewing !

Hi, I’m Taylor. My mum loves sewing! I think her sewing is crazy ,she always makes me wear the clothes she makes. When I go to the clothes store she never lets me buy clothes. So unfair! Why are parents so annoying ? One day I went to school with my friend Shannon ,she came over and on the way my mum ran out of the house and put a big ,woolly , pink scarf on me.  The Material felt like fur but it was actually leather. My mums inventions are crazy! But now I appreciate my mums work. That’s the story.

By Paulina